What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh. Why'd the roofer go to the doctor? He had shingles.ĭid you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.ĭad jokes (TODAY Illustration) Funny dad jokes for all ages I couldn't put it down.Ī horse walks into a bar. I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.ĭid you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.ĭid you hear about the broken guitar for sale? It comes with no strings attached. When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C." What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener. What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach. How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny. What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel. What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque. Why did the computer go to bed? It needed to crash. What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault! How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot. How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese. So, break out a needle and thread because you're about to be in stitches. Whether you're hoping to find something short and to the point or complex enough to compete with dad's jokes, you're sure to find it here.
Stick around because this collection of bad-but-good jokes is just right for adults, kids, friends, relatives (even the ones you don't like) and just about anyone else. Whether you're doing a stand-up routine for your friends or entertaining the kids at home, we've rounded up a collection of dad jokes to keep the laughs coming 24/7, 365.
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